Monday, May 15, 2006

Retaining relationships

We are all relatives of Adam and Eve and since 'relative' is a transitive relation we are all related to each other only to different extents. Human society and cultures weave amazing designs with relationships. There are plenty of aesthetic and real benefits from nurturing relationships. There are four key ingredients in a relationship - the objectivity and subjectivity of the two entities (people) involved. We have to be careful and rational in handling those four elements to retain or build any relationship.

A relationship it will last as long as both people involved in it find it useful in their own ways. Things get dull if their ways are almost identical and things get too messy if their ways are too different. But how do we know for sure how different two are and which is the best combination? Experimentation is inevitable and it is not wrong. Both the parties should be independent and be willing to participate in the experiments of building the relationship. There are protocols to be followed in the experiments. The protocols ensure safety simultaneously leaving some room for creativity. Different cultures have different protocols. So when we encounter change in cultures it might be a bit hard to decide which protocol to follow. But to keep things effective in life it's better to follow one's native cultures.

The usefulness of a relationship is usually both objective and subjective. The objective benefits can be easily made to be mutally win-win case by clearly and honestly applying logic. The unsurmountable problems come of course with little surprise from subjectivity. But we donot know how problematic subjectivity is until we build the relationship. If we find that subjectivity is too much of a problem then both parties can focus on objective part and limit their relationship to that level instead of ruining it. The best way not to ruin is stay away from the relationship. Don't overturn it making it bad to break it. That is just egoistic.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...
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relationship said...

i dont really trust what u r saying....relations are not for mutual benefits..they are for care,they are for help when u need them...there are so many relations which means sacrifice!...

Nagesh Adluru said...

relationship:

First of all welcome! You are the first human commenter on my blog:)

You yourself said in your comment.. they are for care (subjective need), they are for help (objective need), sacrifice (subjective satisfaction).

Bracketed text explains what I meant in my post.

relationship said...

i still dont agree with this.. and u cant build relations based on "needs"...it comes with mutual trust,sometimes only one's sacrifice without other benefiting..

"why does relation has to last long only when both people are finding it useful?"..friends are not like that...u can be friends and still not be useful...some may "USE" friendship, but thts not the way it has to be..

Parents are not like that...what do they benefit in investing in children's welfare?...its the best relation we got right?...how do I think I am useful to my parent and viceversa..still isnt it the best relation??

may be not all in this world are the way i think and u think..but i think life becomes complicated once there are protocols or rules or objectives or subjectives as such in relationship..

thanks for replying to the earlier post.

Nagesh Adluru said...

By saying usefulness I did not mean use in low morale but in an objective sense where both parties have some kind of gain (again gain is not meant to be taken as a low morale thing).

Coming parent-child relationship. Yes that is one of the best relationships. And my post does not contradict that.

Life is indeed complicated and artists and scientists try to continuously understand its complications and present their results to the world in their own ways.

You are welcome and thank you for showing interest in my posts.

Nagesh Adluru said...

By saying usefulness I did not mean use in low morale but in an objective sense where both parties have some kind of gain (again gain is not meant to be taken as a low morale thing).

Coming parent-child relationship. Yes that is one of the best relationships. And my post does not contradict that.

Life is indeed complicated and artists and scientists try to continuously understand its complications and present their results to the world in their own ways.

You are welcome and thank you for showing interest in my posts.